


Family Comes First

by Nikotheamazingspoonklepto



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Drake doesn't exist in this au, Family Drama, Family Fluff, M/M, Other, Tilda doesn't exist either, aftgvotes fic, based loosely on These Days, roles reversed, the twinyards are here to save the day!, twins are healthy and happy, twins are older
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-10-25 09:14:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17722370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nikotheamazingspoonklepto/pseuds/Nikotheamazingspoonklepto
Summary: What if Nicky was the younger cousin? What if the twins had grown up together in a healthy environment? What if, when Luther threatened Nicky with conversion camp, he reached out to Andrew instead?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So Nekojita came to me and was like, you should write this. So I did. (don't remember the exact prompt though)
> 
> Thank you for betaing fuzzballsheltiepants! This was a doozy!
> 
> Strap in for lots of feels ya'll!

Nicky swallows hard and then holds his breath, tiptoeing past his parents closed bedroom door and down the stairs. He cringes as the second to last step squeaks. When nothing happens he scurries away, into the kitchen and grabs the cordless phone, hiding in the pantry beneath the spare pots and pans. He's too tall and broad for it to even be remotely comfortable at fifteen years old, but it always helped him feel safe as a child. Now is no different.

He dials the number he spent all day thinking about, biting his lip while pressing Call. His older cousins aren’t exactly liked by his parents.  Dad had called Andrew an… an abomination and a pervert because he was gay. Called his twin Aaron almost as bad for supporting Andrew. But the twins had never been cruel to him, never touched him. And they didn't tell him he needed fixing. His parents did.

Taking a slow breath, he presses the green button and waits as it rings. His heart sinks further into his stomach with each ring and he nearly hangs up when he's sure it'll go to voicemail, but it connects with a click.

“ _Babe, your phone,_ ” an unfamiliar voice is heard in the background and then fumbling as it’s passed over. He hears some bickering that he can't understand.

“ _Luther, you better have a good reason to call, especially after I just fucking fell asleep._ ”

Nicky whimpers unintentionally, afraid of how angry his cousin sounds. “I'm sorry,” he whispers. “Didn't mean to wake you.”

There is silence for a couple of beats. “... _Nicky_?” Any anger Andrew had is gone and Nicky is flooded with relief.

Nicky lets out a quiet, wet laugh and feels hot tears streak down his face, rubbing them. He's always been an easy crier. His dad started hating it more as he got older. “Hey, Andrew.”

“ _It's the middle of the night for you_.”

Nicky can't help but hear the question in his voice. The unfamiliar voice murmurs in the background.

“I… Dad… Dad,” he trembles, hating how much it makes him ache to have to voice this. “I'm not an abomination… right?”

Nicky hears Andrew moving and taking breaths away from the phone. “ _What did Luther do, Nicky?_ ”

God, he sounds pissed, Nicky can hear Andrew's teeth grinding through the phone.  Nicky can't help but feel reassured that Andrew still cares about him, even after more than a year of no communication.

“They— well, Dad… Dad is sending me to a-a conversion camp on Monday,” Nicky swallows and clamps his hand over his mouth as he whimpers again. “I'm so fucking scared.”

There is swearing and fumbling, rustling over the line, a foreign language being spoken - German he thinks- and a door banging open. Nicky can't help but feel relaxed when he hears Aaron's confused voice as the twins talk. They have always been close, inseparable even. Nicky wishes he had siblings.

“ _We’ll be there in twelve hours._ ”

Nicky freezes at Andrew's words. “I—  Andrew? What are— ”

“ _Pack your bags. Not a word to Luther._ ”

The line goes dead and Nicky stares so long at the phone he wouldn't believe it just happened unless the call was on the screen. He takes a few minutes to calm down before he slinks out of the pantry. He grabs a bottle of vitamin water from the fridge, just in case— and tiptoes back upstairs, collapsing onto his bed when he reaches it.

A glance at the clock tells him it's just after three in the morning. Andrew said he'd be here within twelve hours. Did he really mean that? Why did he tell him to pack? Nicky rolls onto his back, staring at his ceiling. He has no idea what is about to happen and isn't sure he's ready to find out, but he's scared and doesn't know what else to do.

All he can do… is just lie there.

 

\---

 

In the morning, after he wakes up from a sleep he didn't remember slipping into, he packs some of his favorite clothes into one suitcase and then all of his precious collectibles into another. He wraps up his photos and journal safely in more clothes. When he skips breakfast, his dad comes to check on him and looks pleased to see him packing, leaving him with, “You'll feel better after they fix those impulses to sin.” Nicky feels sick for the rest of the morning.

He even skips lunch, but at one thirty in the afternoon he hears shouting from the foyer and he creeps to the stairs to find his father facing off with his cousin. Nicky's jaw drops at the sight of Andrew staring Luther down, arms across his chest and he looks exhausted but fierce. His mirror image is at his back, equally tired and equally fierce.

They… _they came_. But _why_?

“Get off my property or I'll call the police!” Luther finally snaps, his neck flushed red the way it does when he's angry.

“Go ahead!” Aaron growls, a dark, threatening smile spreading across Andrew's face.

“Either he leaves with us or we will raise hell and make your lives as difficult as possible.” Andrew tilts his head and Nicky gets chills, but he is not afraid. “ _Understand_ , Luther?”

“Y— You can't do this! You have no right!” Maria cries out but submits when Luther barks that he's handling it.

“I am not afraid of a filthy child like you! So leave!”

Luther turns white as a sheet when Andrew shoves his phone in his face. Nicky finds himself shuffling closer, but not sure when he moved. Aaron snaps his gaze to him, over Andrew's shoulder, his expression softening into one of concern and Nicky feels a spark of warmth.

“I refuse to let you near my boy and turn him into a filthy faggot, _like_ _you_.” Luther growls.

“Being gay is not contagious, dumbass,” Andrew sneers. “But he _is_ leaving with us or things will be getting a _whole_ lot more difficult for you.”

While Luther struggles to find a way to regain control —  if he ever had it to begin with — Andrew motions at his twin. Aaron breezes past and Nicky just feels numb when his older cousin tugs him against his side and guides him back up the stairs.

It feels surreal as he is lead to his room, Aaron’s voice a soothing buzz in his ear. Andrew and his father are still arguing, his mother crying. All of it is fading into the background. In a few blinks, he has gathered his luggage and ended up in a light hoodie and his sneakers. He thinks his mom hugged him in private, sobbing and begging him not to leave, but isn't certain. When sliding into the backseat of a car, he becomes slightly more aware, staring out the window until he can't see his house as they turn a corner.

Nicky blinks and holds his stomach as he faces forward, fingers curling around his seat belt. “I uh, thanks for coming to get me, b-but maybe… maybe I…” he trails off immediately, looking at his lap when he catches Andrew staring at him in the rearview mirror; Aaron twists in his seat to face him.

He flinches as his unwashed curls are stroked gently, regretting it when the hand leaves. He hears German being murmured and wishes he wasn't struggling so badly with it in school.

“Listen.” Nicky looks up when Aaron speaks, finding his firm, concerned gaze.  “Everything is going to be okay, Nicky. We won't let anyone hurt you.”

Nicky feels tears streak down his face and nods, not knowing what else to do. Aaron gives him a tight smile and nod before slowly facing forward again. Nicky realizes Andrew is lighting up another cigarette already. Andrew's hands are shaking. Why, he can't help but wonder. Hoping he'll find out later and not even sure he could comprehend any answers right now, he stays quiet, watching the world pass them by for the rest of the drive to the airport.

 

~

 

Nicky is fidgeting as he watches his cousins across from him, waiting in the terminal for their flight. He's curious about how pale Andrew is, sitting next to his twin with his leg jumping, Aaron’s pinky linked with Andrew's as Aaron whispers to him. Eventually, Andrew bites his lip and nods, getting up and walking away, phone held to his ear.

After he walks over to the windows, speaking what sounds like Russian, Nicky looks to Aaron. The worried expression on Aaron's face makes him squirm.

“Is Andrew okay?”

Aaron offers him a comforting smile and gets up to sit beside him a hand placed between his shoulder blades. “He'll be okay, he just needed to call Neil and listen to him ramble about anything. Drew is afraid of heights and flying, and we just got off one flight.” Nicky makes a noise in his throat at that, feeling guilty, but Aaron shakes his head. “Nicky, we wouldn't be here if we didn't want to be. We’ve been worried since our last visit, how badly it went.” Aaron strokes his hair again, and Nicky is glad he doesn't flinch this time.

“Yeah…” Nicky thinks of how disgusted his father had been when he found out Andrew was gay _and_ had a boyfriend. How he told the _both_ of them they were no longer welcome near their family when Aaron stood by his twin.

“It’s all going to be okay, Nicky,” Aaron promises him with that comforting smile again and wipes away Nicky’s tears as they streak down his stunned face.

Nicky sobs and he throws himself into Aaron's open arms, crying into his neck. Aaron just holds him as he cries properly for the first time in forever, Aaron whispering encouragingly to him.  When he is finally cried out, he feels drained, but the numbness is gone.

When Andrew comes to tell them that it's time to head to their gate, Nicky smiles gratefully at the both of them as he stands, wiping his eyes. Andrew's face is tight with nerves. Aaron and Andrew grab Nicky's luggage, ignoring his protests and they get moving.

It's not until he's on the plane and in the air that he understands how serious the twins were. He's sandwiched between the window and Andrew, Aaron in the aisle seat. Nicky’s leg is jumping as the plane levels out and he is trying to not fidget too much, lest he become a bother.

“You are just as bad as Neil,” Andrew deadpans, cracking one eye open to look at him, skin still pale, his brow pinched.

“Heh, sorry, Andrew,” Nicky smiles nervously and twists his sleeves, feeling even more anxious. But Andrew just grunts and closes his eye again, probably trying to ignore the fact they’ve leveled out at over thirty -thousand feet. Even though he knows he shouldn’t bother them, at least he’s sure he’d bother them, but talking always helps as a distraction and he can’t help but wonder… “Is Neil your boyfriend?”

Aaron looks up as Andrew cracks that eye open again. Nicky smiles, tugging at his hoodie string. “Neil is a constant annoyance in my life.”

Aaron snorts as Nicky’s brow pinches.

“So he’s— ”

“Yes,” Andrew sighs, shifting in his seat. “He’s my boyfriend, has been for more than two years, you’ll get to meet him at the apartment.”

Nicky smiles at that, it gives him a little bit of hope. “Is he cute? What’s he like? He must be great if you’ve been together so long.”

Andrew actually opens both eyes and turns to look at him. “He’s _something_ alright,” his hazel eyes soften ever so slightly.

“I can’t wait to meet him then,” Nicky looks to Aaron. “Do you have anyone special, Aaron?”

“Yeah, Aaron,” Andrew turns his gaze onto his twin, who is now flushed. “Got anyone _special_?”

Aaron groans when Nicky leans to look at him, rubbing his tired, flushed face and gives Andrew a side glare when he pokes him. “ _Yes_ , there happens to be a girl, Kate-”

“A _cheerleader_ , no less,” Andrew turns to Nicky, his eyes dancing with laughter. Nicky brightens and laughs at how Aaron squawks in annoyance.

“That’s cute! Who is she? How’d you meet?” Nicky begins hitting Aaron with the questions Andrew hadn’t answered, brightening even more with each answer.

Before he knows it, they are relaxed and settled, his mind buzzing with new information from conversing with his cousins and then his stomach growls. Andrew who had settled back into his meditative state looks at him and knocks his knee against Aaron’s mumbling in German. Shortly, when a stewardess comes over and they ask for snacks to tide them over until they land. After the day he’s had so far (and Aaron’s comment about low blood sugar) Nicky practically inhales three bags of airline trail-mix and a cup of watery hot cocoa that Andrew complains about while adding a handful of sugar packets. Even though he is pretty drained, Nicky feels at ease, his nausea fading, and his jaw finally unclenches. Being able to distract himself with chatter for the remainder of the flight, not being told to shut up… it’s _nice_.

 

~

 

The flight to San Francisco International Airport leaves Nicky exhausted, lugging himself through the gate, the terminal and then the rest of the airport until they are stepping through the doors into the confusing time of day where the sun has not set. It takes him a moment to remember that California is three hours behind South Carolina and even though it is nine in the night internally for him, it seems that everyone would be finishing up dinner right now.

“Hey runts, this him?”

Nicky is startled out of his thoughts when the twins begin herding him towards a middle-aged man leaning against a classic black car. He has a scar on his nose and a bit of grey sprinkled throughout his short brown hair. He has some pretty impressive bedhead and five o’clock shadow, wearing oil-stained jeans and a band t-shirt covered in cat hair. For a man his stylish cousins seem to know, his fashion sense is abysmal.

“Hey old man, I see you let the freeloaders dress you again,” Andrew greets, Aaron snorting as he waves.

The man just grins at Andrew, instead of getting angry as Nicky expected, and pushes away from the car. He watches in awe as the man hugs both of them —  well, he pulls them into his chest by gripping the backs of their necks— and the twins let him, each patting his back with one hand.

“Nicky, this is our dad, Gavin,” Aaron motions for Nicky to come forward. “Dad, this is our cousin Nicky.”

“Hello, sir,” Nicky greets him politely, trying to make his parents proud, though he can't help but hear the faint tremor in his own voice.

“‘Sir’? Am I moving up in the world, boys?” Gavin lifts an eyebrow at Nicky, but relaxes into an easy smile and steps forward, pulling Nicky in for a one-armed hug that turns into a two-armed hug when Nicky melts into it. For someone with such a rough outward appearance, he is very gentle. “You call me Gavin or Gav, like everyone else does,” he orders.

“Alright, si— Gavin,” Nicky smiles and rubs his arm awkwardly as he is let go.

Gavin nods, seemingly pleased. “Alright, your father is still making arrangements with the county official and I have orders to get food in the three of you.”

 _‘Father’?_ Nicky can’t help but wonder, going easily when Aaron guides him toward the backseat.

“I need about a gallon of triple fudge chocolate ice cream to function,” Andrew grumbles as he deposits himself in the front passenger seat.

Nicky, sitting behind Andrew, watches Gavin climb into the driver’s seat, the trunk slamming closed before Aaron is climbing in as well. He sees Gavin wordlessly hand over a candy bar to Andrew, his green eyes softening for a moment before he buckles in and starts the car. Aaron touches Nicky’s arm and he looks over to find Aaron smiling at him, making him smile back. When they are all buckled up, they begin the journey ‘home’, wherever that may be.

 

~

 

Being in a car for the second time in the last ten hours is a lot different than the first. At least he isn't as numb or scared but still confused about what's going to happen. So he tries to relax, looking out the window at San Francisco as they head into a new town, more residential. He reads a sign that says ‘ _Welcome to Oakland, California. Population 393,594’_.

‘ _Plus me_ ,’ Nicky muses mentally.

They stop at a pizza place, picking up a bunch of food that Nicky did not notice anyone order, filling the car with delicious scents and eventually they arrive at a house on a long residential road. The driveway is empty, the yard is nicely kept and Nicky can see a calico cat in the window. Nicky makes a cooing sound as he gets out of the car, Gavin telling him her name is ‘Tourmaline’ and Aaron saying they call her ‘Tori’. Gavin mutters to himself, annoyed. 

“Who named her?” Nicky asks instinctively while walking inside, his hands fidgeting again, not being allowed to do anything. There is snickering from the twins and Gavin calling them annoying as they file inside. Two furballs -neither are Tori- tumbling over and then there is another waiting back by a doorway.

“Someone let our old man name the cats,” Andrew deadpans, making his way inside while carrying the food.

Nicky crouches down to pet the two cats that came up -a short haired grey one and a very fluffy white one- smiling as his fingers sift through their soft fur. Gavin drops to a knee beside him, groaning slightly and pets the white one. Nicky catches Aaron frozen in the doorway to what he thinks is the kitchen and tilts his head at the way Aaron swallows hard, eyes wide before he’s practically running into the kitchen. As he hears the twins speak in hushed tones -German he’s sure- he looks to Gavin.

“This is Topaz,” Gavin smiles, rubbing the white cat’s ear. “She’s nine and this is Peridot, he's four, see their eyes?” He smiles as Peridot rubs against Nicky’s hand. “And over there is my oldest, Onyx, he’s fourteen, starting to get a little salt ‘n pepper like his daddy.” When Nicky quirks an eyebrow, Gavin rolls his eyes. “I like rocks, sue me.”

Nicky joins him in a laugh and stands, reaching down to help Gavin but his hand is scoffed at.

“If I start letting you punks help me now, the guys’ll never let me live it down,” Gavin grunts as he uses the wall to stand properly. “God damn knees… Maybe I should take Richard up on morning yoga.”

“Who is Richard?” Nicky is finding himself asking a lot of questions, glad that they aren’t being brushed off or met with annoyance. He follows Gavin’s finger pointing to a blown up family picture on the wall in the living room.

There is a tall, stern looking man sitting with Tori in his lap, his posture is perfect, Gavin leaning against him with Onyx in his arms and the twins each holding Peridot and Topaz in their arms, standing behind them. They aren’t smiling as brightly as Gavin, the twins holding a more serious expression like Richard, but he can see the happiness in their eyes and in the slight curl of their lips. They are happy here. He’s brought back when Gavin flashes his left hand at him, a simple gold band glinting on his ring finger.

“Richard and I have been married almost as long as we’ve had the twins, got married so they wouldn’t be rehomed about twelve years ago,” Gavin winks and shuffles to the kitchen, the cats trying to trip him up.

Nicky is speechless, watching Gavin vanish from sight and looks to the picture again, swallowing the lump in his throat. If his father knew he was in the home of a _married_ homosexual couple, he’d lose his shit. He’d blame them for how Andrew turned out and… Nicky almost jumps out of his skin when a cat rubs against his ankles and forces himself to relax. So he makes his way into the kitchen where Gavin is setting the table with Aaron, Andrew staring intently at the coffee machine as it brews a fresh pot.

“Come on, you haven’t eaten all day and I’m not having you pass out on us,” Aaron orders, kicking out a chair and then opens the top pizza box, stacks a plate and setting it down. “We got sausage and pepperoni on one, and black olives and bell peppers on the other.”

“Don’t eat all of the garlic bread,” Gavin reminds them. “Your father will complain.”

“No, Drew will complain because he’ll get blamed for eating it all.” Aaron plops down beside Gavin and practically shoves an entire slice of pizza into his mouth. “Si’ d’wn.” He rolls his eyes when Gavin gives him a look, chewing and swallowing. “Sorry, dad.”

Gavin sighs and passes out napkins, an open can of diet coke next to his plate. “Tell me you have better table manners than these two heathens, Nicky?”

“I’d like to think so?” Nicky flushes and finally sits down, carefully pulling the pizza boxes to him and serves himself a slice of each. Two different cans of soda are placed in front of him and Andrew sits next to him, sipping coffee, the circles under his eyes even darker. The shame threatens to swamp him. He can't believe they'd gone all the way across the country twice, just because he'd gotten scared.

“Hey, I uh-” He stops when Andrew almost shoves his hand in his face.

“Rin already told you what you need to know and why, so save us the ‘You didn’t have to do that’ speech. Neil’s got the martyr complex covered as it is.”

Nicky pauses and looks back at his plate, glancing up at Gavin and Aaron who are focused on their own food. Aaron looks like he’s about to fall asleep, stealing Andrew’s coffee mug for a long sip and earns himself a half-hearted glare. Not knowing what else to do, Nicky rubs his hand over his face and ruffles his hair before choosing the can of rootbeer and cracking it open.

Halfway through their quiet dinner, Nicky starts sneezing, his eyes watering. Aaron shoves Benadryl down his throat before they take him back to their apartment, Gavin telling him they’ll see him soon and he can meet Richard. The promise of spending more time with this (his?) family is warming and Nicky looks forward to it.

 

~

 

“Alright, let's get you settled in my room then,” Aaron stifles a yawn, heading down the hallway of the twin's apartment.

“Oh!” Nicky is startled, tripping as he kicks off his sneakers next to the twins’ and several pairs of running shoes a size bigger than the twin's. “Uh, I can sleep on the couch, you don't have to— ” Nicky stops his guilty spiel when the twins turn back to give him matching exhausted looks. “Okay, thanks, Aaron…”

Aaron sighs and shakes his head. “As I was saying, I'll set you up in my room here, I'm going to sleep on the couch tonight, but I'll be staying at our parents otherwise.” Aaron leads him into a small bedroom, across from another where the door is closed.

Nicky follows him in and looks around. It's simple, the full-size bed looks comfortable and the carpet is soft under his feet. The lone window lets him see the backyard of the apartment complex. While he sets his suitcase on the bed, Aaron goes to his dresser and pulls out some clothes for himself.

“I'm sure you want to shower and sleep. So there is a towel and shower stuff that Neil got for you in the bathroom. Help yourself to anything in the kitchen and just try to be quiet. Andrew and Neil can be jumpy at any kind of noise.” Aaron turns back to Nicky with his night clothes in hand. “We'll be around if you need anything.” 

Nicky gives his cousin a grateful smile, his chest feeling tight and reaches out for a hug, relishing in the close contact when it's given. “Thanks for everything, you didn't have to do this.” 

Aaron offers him a tired smile and shrugs, heading out of the room and closes the door behind him. Nicky sits on the edge of the bed and closes his eyes, his mind buzzing. He realizes he hasn’t been alone in the last several hours, unable to process the reality that he’d been whisked away by his cousins.

Exhaustion washes over him, weighing down his limbs and falls onto his side, curling his legs up onto the bed, clutching the pillow his head managed to hit the corner of. His body sinks into the mattress, glad for the moment of rest and lets out a slow breath. Every intention to get up and take a shower is no longer important and pushes his worries and stress away, not willing to deal with it. Before he knows it, Nicky falls asleep, so deeply, dreams either good or bad don’t come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The twins are my heros <3
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> I'll post chapter two soon! Promise! (probably tomorrow)
> 
> Please leave kudos and a comment to let me know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron is the best verb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!!! Now to continue this awesomeness!
> 
> Have some Aaron n Neil being besties and Nicky crying as his little family comforts and supports him.
> 
> Thank you fuzzballsheltiepants for the beta!
> 
> Warning; MOAR. FEELINGS.

The next morning, Nicky wakes up to find a blanket over the top of him. His luggage is on the floor by the bed and he stares at it for several moments before feeling for his phone to check the time. When he doesn’t find it, he remembers his father taking it from him the other day when he caught him flirting with a boy at Sweeties and… well, that was how he ended up planning to send him to a conversion therapy camp and Nicky calling his cousin in panic. How he ended up here.

Sitting up he finds Aaron’s alarm clock glowing red, it's a little after nine am and his limbs are sore, so he gets up slowly and stretches. Joints pop and his muscles loosen as he almost trembles from the exertion and he sighs in relief. Nicky realizes he’s still wearing the clothes he wore on the plane.  He grimaces and digs through his suitcase for something comfortable.

After he settles on a pair of shorts he wore for working out with his exy team, a t-shirt, and his fluffiest socks, he peeks out into the hallway. The door to the bathroom is open and dark, there isn’t any noise so he tiptoes into the bathroom and flicks on the light to find the promised towel and toiletries on the sink, making him smile. 

Nicky tries to keep his shower short out of habit but finds himself standing under the warm spray for a few extra minutes, just enjoying the soothing pressure of hot water against his shoulders and back. When he gets out, he feels a bit more awake, more human, like that shower was able to wash away his stress and anxieties down the drain with the suds. After drying off he gets dressed and ruffles his curls with the towel until they spring up, using some of the pomade on the shelf to tame any frizziness and smiles at his fresh reflection.

Muffled laughter brings his attention to the door and then the front door closing, curious, Nicky gathers his dirty clothes and towel, exiting the bathroom. As he pads down the hall, he hears Aaron’s voice and another, joking and teasing his cousin as he gets closer. 

“Com’on Aar, if you want to impress Kate, you gotta build your wind up more!”

Nicky walks in to see his cousin, drenched in sweat, chugging a bottle of water, glaring at someone off to the side. “I _do_ impress Kate! You’re just inhuman, you speedy fuck!” Aaron’s glare is wiped off his face as his water bottle is swiped and laughs when he is hip checked, stumbling further into the living room. He looks away and sees Nicky, perking up with a smile. “Oh, looks like someone is finally awake! Neil, this is my cousin Nicky, Nicky, this is Andrew’s boyfriend, Neil.”

“Hey.”

Nicky stares at the redhead with sunkissed skin standing beside his cousin and feels his cheeks _burn_ because… because _fuck_. With pretty blue eyes and his messy auburn curls sticking to his skin with sweat, in an oversized t-shirt, shorts that are _too_ short, showing off mile-long runner legs he—

“Earth to Nicky!” Aaron snaps him back to reality.

Nicky realizes he’d just been blatantly checking out his cousin’s _gorgeous_ boyfriend, immediately feeling guilty. “Uh, hi,” Nicky offers a nervous smile and looks to the laundry in his hands. “Where can I uh, put these?” He can’t look at Neil, barely able to look at Aaron.

Aaron gives him a look, eyebrow raised as he steals the water bottle back from Neil. “There is a laundry basket in the living room by the kitchen,” he gestures vaguely. “Are you hungry? Drew should be up soon and we can start breakfast.”

“I’m up. Coffee.”

Nicky nearly jumps out of his skin when he Andrew brushes past him, dragging his socked feet along the carpet. Nicky hadn’t even realized he was coming up behind him and freezes as he watches Andrew shuffle towards the kitchen, only stopping briefly to accept a kiss from Neil and stumbling when Aaron shoulders him playfully. It’s so comfortable and _normal_ that it makes Nicky’s insides twist but not unpleasantly so. To see two men act so casually about their relationship and in front of their own family… he wonders how his parents could see this as immoral and just _aches_ for that. Fuck, it’s too early in the morning for this.

“I’ve got dibs on first shower!” Neil shoves Aaron and races past Nicky, ignoring Aaron shouting after him. Aaron gives up and heads into the kitchen after his brother, speaking in German.

Glad for the distraction, Nicky brings the clothes to the standing laundry basket and dumps them inside. The sun outside the balcony door is beautiful as it shines down on the courtyard of the apartment complex. He takes a few breaths, trying to savor a few minutes of being alone, but the nerves soon weasel their way back into his chest. So he makes his way into the kitchen where Andrew is falling asleep at the island counter and Aaron is fixing up four mugs of coffee.

“How do you take yours?” Aaron doesn’t look up, pouring a generous amount of creamer into a large mug and then several spoonfuls of sugar before stirring it. The smell of coffee is actually wonderful and Nicky has never been allowed to drink coffee. His mom always says he's already peppy and energetic enough.

“Uh, sweet and creamy?” Nicky finally decides and then wonders if he’ll end up with something like Aaron just prepared and slid in front of Andrew, who is now sipping it with his eyes half shut.

Thankfully Aaron adds a fraction of what he did to Andrew's mug and perches himself on the stool across from Andrew. “Thank you,” Nicky curls his fingers around his mug and inhales the scent before taking a careful sip that immediately warms him up and—  “It’s delicious.”

“‘S jus’ coffee,” Andrew murmurs, sucking down more of his sugary concoction.

Nicky flushes and shrugs. Aaron winks at him and leans against the counter while he sips from his own mug. “So, what are we doing today?”

Andrew looks at him like he’s crazy and grew two heads. “Let’s get through breakfast, yeah?”

Aaron makes a comment in German and Andrew just grunts, making Aaron roll his eyes. “He’s miserable until he’s had his coffee and something to eat, just ignore him.”

“Oh, ah, I— okay,” Nicky flushes and refocuses on his mug. “What is for breakfast?”

“Ask the chef,” Aaron shrugs. “It’s Neil’s turn to cook.”

“With any luck, we’ll have chocolate chip pancakes,” Andrew yawns around the lip of his mug.

Nicky lifts an eyebrow at their dynamic, how different they are for identical twins, and has to smile after they just resume drinking their coffee. Eventually, Neil gets out of the shower and lets Aaron get in, the redhead kissing Andrew’s cheek before starting on breakfast. Nicky finds his mug very, _very_ interesting when he realizes Neil has a very nice ass to go with those runner legs, encased in _tight_ athletic leggings. When he catches himself sneaking peeks, he accidentally glances when Andrew is looking up and finds a smirk twitching at the corner of his lips. He’s so flustered that he has to excuse himself to make the bed (that he hadn’t even slept in, but on top of) before breakfast.

 

~

 

After a breakfast of omelets and bacon, along with nutella on toast for Andrew (who is finally more awake), Nicky sorts through his luggage to keep himself busy as he didn’t get a chance to even offer to wash the dishes before Neil started on them. The twins are doing something in the kitchen, talking in German and he doesn’t want to intrude. As he sorts through, Nicky discovers he only packed _maybe_ a total of ten different outfit combinations in his suitcase if he tries hard enough. After that discovery, he quickly realizes he forgot several things that he _needs_ as compared to some of the stuff he brought, which is stuff he just likes.

“Need help?” 

Nicky practically jumps out of his skin _again_ and snaps his head over to see Neil standing in the doorway. _How_ is it that he never hears these people coming? Is he just that far inside of his head? Even though he was caught by surprise, Nicky appreciates Neil's appearance as he is extremely cute.  However, he doesn't know where to look or else he'll be checking Neil out and Nicky's face is _burning_.

“Sure?” Nicky stares at the top in his hands, his jersey from when he was a sub backliner for the Columbia Central High School Comets exy team and folds it carefully before setting it aside.

Neil walks in and Nicky immediately sees how he stands further than an arms length from him, pulling the other suitcase to him from the foot of the bed. He watches as Neil pulls out the first picture, and removes the t-shirt it's wrapped in to reveal a framed photo of him with his parents after playing in his first game as a high school freshman. They looked so proud of him in that picture and… Nicky takes the photo from Neil and holds it gingerly, worried he'll break the glass inside the plastic frame. Worried that he’ll break the memory it holds. 

As he traces his index finger over where his father has a hand on his shoulder and his mother hugging his arm, he feels tears streak down his face. A soft sob escapes before he can cover his mouth and trembles.

“Uh… hey, Nicky, i-its okay, I…” Neil tries to comfort him and Nicky just cries harder, longing for his parents, even though they could be unreasonable at times. “It's alright,” Neil tries again and takes the picture from Nicky's hand and he lets him.

“I thought parents were supposed to love you unconditionally and all that shit,” Nicky whimpers wiping fruitlessly at his tears, only for more to tumble down.

“Not all parents are like Gavin and Richard,” Neil whispers, awkwardly touching his bicep and Nicky just latches onto him, uncaring that Neil stiffens from the hug and continues to cry. “It's gonna be okay,” Neil repeats, carefully putting his arms around Nicky and patting his back.

“They're ashamed of me,” Nicky sobs and clings tighter. Despite Neil being half a foot shorter and leaner than his own muscular, athletic build, the contact helps as Nicky has always been a tactile person, always longing for hugs or gentle touches.

“Aar and Drew aren't,” Neil promises, his voice firm. “They wouldn't have left in the middle of the night to fly across the country for you if they were ashamed of you.”

Nicky sniffles and pulls back to look at Neil, rubbing at his tears again. “Really?” Deep down, Nicky knows it's true, it's why he called in the first place, but seeing the sad look in Neil's eyes when he questions it, tells him it really is true. It makes him laugh, unsure why, but he laughs and laughs until he starts crying again and slumps against Neil, clinging tight as he can and Neil just lets him.

He has no idea how long they stand there, Nicky sobbing his heart out and Neil just rubbing his back, but eventually, his tears subside. When Nicky pulls back, he accepts the tissues Neil hands him and wipes his face, blowing his nose.

“Thanks, Neil, you're not just cute but really sweet,” Nicky freezes when Neil turns pink and realizes what he said. “I uh… well, obviously I think you're cute, and I— I wasn't hitting on you! I swear! I wouldn't try to steal my cousin's man!”

Neil laughs and rubs the back of his neck, still pink but offers a smile. “It's alright, even if you weren’t a minor, you wouldn't have a chance with me anyway, I don't swing.” he grins and steps away to continue unpacking Nicky's suitcase. 

Nicky stares at him dumbly. “But you're dating Andrew, how can you _not_ ‘swing'?”

Neil laughs at Nicky's confusion but does give him an explanation and for the first time, Nicky learns about more than just gay, straight and bisexual. It's a good, easy talk and the rest of the morning flies by fast.

 

~

 

“You _definitely_ don't have to do _this_ ,” Nicky chuckles nervously, following alongside the twins and Neil, who was holding hands with Andrew the entire drive to the mall. And what a nice drive it was, riding in the backseat of the black Maserati, a very nice car that _Neil_ had bought for Andrew. Talk about having a rich boyfriend - well, _sugar daddy_ was the first thing to come to mind, but after embarrassing himself earlier in front of Neil, he didn’t want to make Neil hate him.

“Don’t worry about it,” Aaron waves him off for the nth time. “Neil’s paying,” he grins when Neil sighs and Nicky feels his stomach do a backflip. “We missed your birthday in May, so think of getting you clothes you actually like as a present.”

“But-”

“Don’t argue, Nicky, Andrew refused to be seen with me in public until I wore the clothes he put me in,” Neil cuts in, glaring half-heartedly at Andrew, to which his cousin smirks. 

Nicky glances over Neil again, realizing his cousins have good taste in dressing others  _and_ have an open mind. It would be nice to wear the bright colors he likes from time to time, find his own style. “I wouldn’t mind not dressing like the jock, mom and dad think I am,” he flushes at Aaron’s hand patting his shoulder.

“That’s the spirit!” 

“Just get what you like, Andrew will be able to help you put outfits together if you need him to,” Neil winks at Andrew when he gives him a glare this time and comments in Russian.

“How many languages do you speak?” Nicky finally mustering up the courage to ask as they step into the air-conditioned mall, there is a good number of people milling about.

“Uh…” Neil hums and ticks his fingers. “Andrew and I are learning Russian together. I’m teaching the twins German. I also speak French, my Spanish is rusty though.”

Nicky immediately brightens, walking closer to Neil. “ _Soy fluido en Español_! And I am learning German, we can teach each other, _ja_?” Nicky gives Neil a hopeful look, heart thrumming excitedly. At first, he’d been too shy to ask about what languages they are speaking, but with Neil’s answer, he feels confident and like he has something to offer. It gives him some peace of mind after everything his cousins have given him in the last twenty-four hours, not asking for anything in return.

“ _Gracias, eso me gustaría, Nicky_ ,” Neil replies in Spanish as he grins at Nicky, his face flushed happily.

“ _No hay problema._ ”

“Alright, enough flirting you two,” Andrew brings them back, slowing down in front of a store. “Pick out what you like, don’t look at the prices,” he orders and leads the way inside, Aaron following him.

Nicky glances at Neil, because they said _Neil_ is paying and he essentially just told him to go crazy. Neil doesn’t look at all concerned about it though, nodding at Nicky before he is following after the twins, it makes him relax slightly and steps inside as well, making a beeline for a pair of cute shorts on display and distressed skinny jeans. Before he knows it, he is relieving his stress via retail therapy.

 

~

 

“Tell me! Do I look _fabulous_!?” Nicky strikes a pose, after changing in the bathroom at the mall. After a bit of coaxing (well, ordering him to get what he wants), he picked out his very first rainbow crop top and a pair of tight skinny jeans and wanted to wear them immediately. See how they made him feel. And if they didn’t make him feel amazing, he didn’t know what else they were supposed to do.

“You loo-”

 “We created a monster,” Aaron cuts Neil off, staring at Nicky while fighting a smile.

“Perfect, he can be an honorary member,” Andrew rolls his eyes, sipping his milkshake.

Nicky tilts his head at that. “A what?” He picks up as many bags of clothes he can manage, still shocked at the quantity that Neil hadn’t even batted an eye at, swiping his debit card at each store they went to. He started to wonder after the third store if Neil really is a sugar daddy and continued to bottle that up inside with way more difficulty than he cared to admit.

“The Foxes call them Monsters,” Neil offers as he and Aaron pick up the remaining bags Nicky cannot carry. Andrew starts walking and they follow.

“Foxes?”

“Our college exy team,” Aaron provides.

“Oh! I forgot you guys play exy!” Nicky flushes, realizing he hadn’t even thought about it. “I’m a backliner, I started in middle school and made the team at my high school.” He frowns when he realizes; “where will I be going to school in the fall?”

“Probably in Palmetto, it’s about an hour from your hometown.” Nicky doesn’t know how to feel about that. “We only come back to Cali to see our parents. Neil starts this semester too,” Aaron nudges Neil, who hipchecks him into Nicky, making him laugh. Something about their friendship makes Nicky glow with warmth. “I’m a backliner too, Drew is our goalie and Neil is a striker, but he’s played as backliner before.”

“Are you guys any good?”

“Our team is shit,” Andrew deadpans before Aaron or Neil could say anything.

“We’re not that bad! We came in third during Championships last season,” Aaron argues. 

“Because of Day,” Andrew rolls his eyes.

“He’s the son of exy and you were in goal, Drew,” Neil laughs. “The team isn’t _that_ bad, I think I can help better our scores as striker,” Neil sounds determined.

“If you can even work with Day _and_ Gordon,” Andrew snorts. Neil glares at him.

“Do you want to keep playing?” Aaron changes the subject as Andrew and Neil continue bickering, looking up at Nicky.

Nicky nods. “Yea! I’m not that good, but I love exy, it’s fun and it keeps me in shape - I uh,” he feels his neck flush and lowers his voice. “I joined so I could um… play with a bunch of cute athletic boys, to be perfectly honest.”

Aaron groans at that. “God, you really are gay,” he drags his hand down his face, quite a feat with his hands full. “Don’t you dare disrespect anyone, they are people, not things. Got it? Dad’ll have your head- _I’ll_ have your head for that.”

Nicky blanches at that and holds his hands up in surrender, dropping one of his shopping bags. “I-I uh, I’m sorry! I didn’t-”

“Keep your hands to yourself, do not touch anyone without their permission,” Andrew adds.

“Treat people how you want to be treated,” Neil adds as well.

Aaron comments something in German to Neil, making him turn red and shoulder him. Andrew smirks, Aaron laughs and the tense air is broken. Nicky relaxes and wonders what just happened.

“The Foxes are a team of rejects from broken homes and come from hard backgrounds,” Aaron looks up at him again. “We are dysfunctional, but it’s another chance for most, but Drew and I got lucky with our parents.”

“Foster care was a bitch,” Andrew hums. 

Nicky files that away for later dissection and looks over Aaron at Neil, just as they get to the mall exit. “What’s your story, Neil?”

Neil’s expression smooths out and he shrugs. Aaron comments again in German, softer, Neil shrugs again and Andrew looks at Nicky.

“He ran away from his shitty parents and hit my car with his body, so I made him buy me a new one and now we can't get rid of him.”

Nicky almost laughs, but Andrew’s even expression and Neil’s annoyed side eye makes him pause.

“And I think we have reached our overshare limit for today!” Aaron cuts in and tugs Nicky further ahead, just as Andrew starts talking to Neil in Russian.

Nicky thinks it’s best to keep his mouth shut on the topic for now -maybe forever unless they bring it up- and loads the trunk of the Maserati with his shopping haul.

“So where will I be going to school?” He decides to revisit that topic, it feels safe enough. He chose correctly, judging by Aaron’s grateful smile.

 

\---

 

After a week of being in Oakland, California, living with Andrew and Neil while Aaron sleeps at Gavin’s, Nicky has started to adjust. It has been interesting, to say the least; his family, as he has happily claimed them as, have been very welcoming. Andrew sits and plays video games with him and lets him tag along to the gym to lift weights. Neil and Aaron even invited him on their morning five mile runs. Gavin is supportive and laid back and his husband Richard who he met the second day he was there is very ‘orderly’, Nicky cannot comprehend why he is married to the man. Richard is attractive in an aristocratic sort of way whereas Gavin is more rugged- bad boy esque and Richard’s strict personality clashes with Gavin’s laid back one. The way they look at each other tells him they wouldn’t have been married for the last twelve years or adopted their foster kids if it didn’t work. 

Nicky watches the way they interact with the twins, loving them unconditionally despite their bad manners and their quiet demeanor clashing with their parent's more outgoing personalities. They offer guidance with or without prompting. They even extended that love to Neil, who they met when he was passing through California three years ago and Nicky didn’t press for more information after a look from Aaron. The most shocking part was that Gavin and Richard also welcomed him with open arms, treating him as a part of the family and it is the best feeling in the world. 

Even after the extravagant shopping trip, Nicky was provided with a cellphone on the twin's and Neil’s contract, something that flustered Nicky to no end. All five of their numbers are saved in his new phone, dozens of pictures having been added, as well as strings of texts between them. Gavin and Aaron respond the most, Richard is more formal and Andrew replies with very short sentences or one-word texts. Neil’s proper punctuation and grammar make him smile.

The keys to the apartment feel good in his pocket, on a rainbow lanyard, allowing him to come and go as he pleases, even though he prefers to have company at all times. However, Nicky hates to admit it, hates to even feel it, but sometimes he is homesick. He misses his mom and her delicious home cooked meals, her hugs when she is proud. Nicky even misses his dad’s firm tone and the occasional compliment. He could see it now, the illusion they had spun for him, the myth he had believed with all his heart. That they were proud of him. That they...loved him. But the boy they had loved was an illusion of his own, and he had shattered it when he realized he liked boys. 

Nicky's bubble of sadness is broken when he hears the twins shouting and swearing, followed by the front door slamming shut, Nicky gets off his temporary bed and creeps into the hall to investigate. When he gets into the living room, he finds Aaron stomping over to the couch where Neil is watching TV and practically flings himself onto the couch. Neil looks down at him as he lays with his head and shoulders in his lap, the impact of Aaron’s body making his water bottle roll off the couch and onto the floor, but Neil’s fingers thread through his pale blond hair. 

“Didn’t go well, Aar?” Neil offers a sympathetic look.

“Just running into speed bumps, that man— I can’t stand his fucking arrogance!” Aaron growls and squirms, folding his arms over his chest but as Neil scratches his scalp, he starts to relax, his fists slowly unballing. 

Nicky is honestly bewildered at the sight before him, slowly creeping into the living room and smiles nervously. “Is everything okay? I heard shouting.”

Neil looks at him, smiling calmly, his fingers never stop scratching, even as Aaron turns his head to look at him too.

“Just getting things in order, people being assholes,” Aaron groans before squirming again until he’s on his side with his head on Neil’s thigh and a hand hooked under Neil’s knee pit, watching the television. “Do you ever watch anything other than exy games, Red?”

“Trying to figure out the teams’ strategies for when I’m playing this season,” Neil hums.

Nicky continues to stare, a pit forming in his stomach. “Does Andrew and Katelyn know about this?” Nicky blurts out and flushes heavily when Neil stares at him with both eyebrows raised and Aaron stills, unmoving. “S-sorry! Th-that's none of my business, forget I said anything!”

Neil starts laughing and then yelps when Aaron pinches him, yanking Aaron’s hair. Nicky stares, bewildered, he is just _so_ lost.

“Aar is just a clingy bastard and Drew doesn’t always like being touched,” Neil manages as his laughter eases off.

Aaron huffs and reaches up to yank on Neil’s curls. “I am _not_ clingy, it’s _you_ who is clingy!”

“I’m confused,” Nicky whimpers, wringing his hands.

“Friends, even male friends, are allowed to cuddle,” Neil rolls his eyes. “And for some weird reason Aar is my best friend.”

“And I happen to be comfortable in my heterosexuality,” Aaron states firmly, pressing a little bit closer to Neil as if to make his point.

Nicky freezes at this new bit of information and feels a wave of emotion crash through his body. Tears stinging in his eyes and his mouth going dry. “They can?” He asks, voice small. 

Neil and Aaron look at each other, their expressions strained, but understanding at the same time. Neil’s fingers tighten in Aaron’s hair and Aaron swallows hard before Neil looks up at Nicky again, patting the empty cushion beside him.

“There is plenty of room for you, Nicky.”

Nicky’s heart clenches and he smiles weakly, choking on a laugh. It seems like a very bad idea to cuddle up to Andrew’s boyfriend, especially when he is attracted to him, but he is _longing_ for some close contact and the few hugs he’s been given since he got here haven’t been enough. So he takes a few tentative steps, the rest of the way into the living room and carefully sits beside Neil, pulling his legs up, hugging them to his chest. After another moment he tips against Neil, laying his head on his shoulder and smiles at the warmth his body emits, heart thrumming happily when Neil nudges his head with his own. He looks down at Aaron to see him smiling and smiles back before turning his attention to the television and watches the game in relative silence with them. 

They stay like that for a long while, until Andrew comes back home with bags of take out. At first, he thinks Andrew is angry when he stands in the entrance of the living room, staring, until he rolls his eyes and walks into the kitchen, announcing ‘Dinner time’. Nicky feels a lot better from the close contact, his nerves soothed significantly. Hopefully, it’s not a one-time thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you cry? wasn't it cute?
> 
> They are all so sweet!!!!!
> 
> Please leave kudos and a comment to let me know what you think!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'd make it "Nicky finally sees a damn therapist" lol - fuzzballsheltiepants, my beta

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I am AMAZED and BLESSED and ASTOUNDED at the response this story is getting! I am forever grateful for all of your kind words and all the love in the kudos and comments! 
> 
> THANK YOU!
> 
> How about some regular therapy after that retail therapy? methinks is gooooood.
> 
> thanks again for the beta, fuzzballsheltiepants!
> 
> WARNING: Serious talk about Nicky's family.

Ten days after moving to California, during breakfast, Aaron tells him they’ve scheduled him an appointment with a therapist that afternoon and it had triggered Nicky’s anxiety instantly. Strangely enough, it is Andrew who grabs his wrist and presses down on a specific spot until his heart rate slows, staring him blankly in the face. After he calms down, he’s informed that he needs to sort through everything that has been going on _properly_.

It helps him relax, but Nicky can’t help but wonder why he thought they were trying to ‘fix him’. As if reading his mind, Andrew tells him it is a conditioned response and another example as to why he needs to see a therapist. They’ve set him up with someone recommended by their own therapist they see when in California and will be getting him a referral for someone in Palmetto by their college's therapist, a woman they call 'Bee'. While Nicky is more at ease with the whole situation, he can’t help but feel nervous about talking to a perfect stranger about this, about family drama.

Still, Nicky goes to his appointment without complaint, wringing his hands while sitting beside Andrew in the waiting room. Andrew is significantly more distant than Aaron, Neil is just quiet but they all manage to give him the attention he needs, even if they need their space at times. It’s a lot more than he got from his parents.

“Nicholas Hemmick?”

Nicky is snapped out of his daze and looks up to find a man standing in the doorway, holding a clipboard and wearing a kind smile. He’s dressed for summer weather, but a bit more business-ie for the office in a polo shirt and khakis and has an impressive tan.

“That’s me.” Nicky looks at Andrew, getting up when he motions with his chin and accepts the man’s hand in greeting.

“Dr Thomas Moran, pleased to meet you.”

“I’m Nicky,” he flushes nervously, but Dr Moran just smiles and motions to the open door.

“Please, come in, Nicky.”

Nicky glances back at Andrew, but Andrew tilts his head expectantly while opening his paperback novel. Nicky relaxes, knowing he’ll be here when he gets back and follows Dr Moran into his office, sitting on the squishy couch across from the one he sits on. The office is decorated in neutral tones, accolades and degrees along the wall. For some inexplicable reason, Nicky finds it to be calming.

“How are you today, Nicky?” Dr Moran asks, settling in with a yellow legal pad on his lap and the form Nicky filled out, pen in hand.

“I’m…” Nicky pauses, flushing as he remembers the twins telling him to be as open and honest as possible. Therapy is to help him deal with the problems that he tries to hide from them. Opening up to a stranger is still _not_ appealing, but he decides to try. “I guess I’m doing okay, I mean, living with my cousins is cool.”

Dr Moran smiles at this. “Why don’t you live with your parents?”

Nicky frowns. “Didn’t they tell you?”

“One of your cousins did, but I would like to hear about what has happened from your point of view, Nicky.”

Nicky hugs himself and leans into the cushions of the couch as memories of the last two weeks rushes through his head. His anxiety is already spiking and he wishes Aaron or Neil were here for him to lean against, even hug him, or for Andrew to do that pressure trick again. He tries it himself, but it doesn’t work and he looks up to see Dr Moran waiting patiently.

“In your own time, Nicky, you have a full fifty minutes with me. We can start smaller, if you like?”

Nicky finds himself shaking his head, swallowing hard. “No, I— I should talk about it,” he flushes again. “Even if it's stupid,” he mumbles.

“If it affects you, Nicky, it is not stupid.”

“Isn’t it?” Nicky frowns. “I called my cousin. I woke him up, in the middle of the night." Nicky rubs his face, remembering. "I was sitting in the pantry, like some little kid."

"Why?"

"My dad...he found out I'm--I'm gay. He was going to send me to conversion camp?"

"How do you feel about that?"

"How did I feel? Honestly, I was fu-- I was terrified."

“Conversion therapy camps are illegal in most places in the United States, but still exist. They are more harmful than helpful, they can be highly dangerous and traumatizing, you had every right to be scared, Nicky,” Dr Moran says seriously and looks at Nicky’s form. “Did you ever expect your parents to do something like this, Nicky?”

Nicky shrugs, running a hand through his hair as he thinks about it. “I… well my dad is a minister, highly religious, so is my mom. He met her as a missionary in Mexico or something. I always knew they didn't...approve of gays, or whatever. I mean, they disowned both my cousins just because Andrew is gay.” Nicky’s brow pinches as his chest tightens, jaw tensing. “I don’t have any siblings or other cousins, so when we found out about the twins I was so excited and they were always nice to me, even though they’re four years older and had their licenses and everything. The second mom and dad found out that Andrew had a boyfriend, my dad kicked Andrew out and then Aaron too. I had been…” he stops as he flushes again, suddenly nervous. He shouldn’t be, sitting here in skinny jeans and a pink tank top. His rainbow lanyard clipped to his belt loop.

“It’s alright, this is a safe space.”

“I mean, I kind of tried out for my school’s exy team… because I had a crush on one of the players,” Nicky expects Dr Moran to reprimand him like his cousins had, but is able to relax when given a patient smile and continues. “I knew what my parents thought of gay people, because that’s how it is at my church, but I couldn’t- _can’t_ help but look at guys and thought it was okay to look…And then when I joined the team, my dad was so happy I was finally acting like he thought I should. Like, playing a sport meant I was straight or something.” A very clear memory of his dad patting him on his back and giving him the check to cover the equipment fee to join the team the first time comes to mind. Having his dad be proud of him for being ‘normal’ felt as good, even if it hurt.

“But I did like exy— still do and it made my parents happy. I actually tried dating girls because it made them happy but it never worked out that way. I don’t like girls, not like that.” The thought of being with any of his female friends actually makes Nicky squirm.

“So you tried to convert yourself, from a young age,” Dr Moran scribbles on his notepad again.

“I— I guess?” Nicky shrugs, getting a sour taste in his mouth. “And, well I—I tried to not look, but there was so many cute guys around and a couple openly gay kids in school. I wanted to join the LGBT club, but if my parents found out…” He sighs. “I stuck to admiring boys from afar, hung out with girls from school while playing exy.

“But I was careless and this one time when I went to Sweeties, it’s this diner with awesome ice cream back home— er… in Columbia and— anyway, I was with a couple of my closest friends, hanging out.” Nicky clenches his fist as he remembers that day, in excruciating detail. “Well, there was this really cute guy named Jason, waiting on us and I just _liked him_. I think he may have been a couple years older, but he was really sweet and had cute dimples. Jason was flirting with me and at first I thought it was because he wanted a good tip, but Angie one of my friends, pointed out that he was only flirting with _me_. So I flirted back and… and I went to the counter to talk to him. I wanted his number and Jason walked me and my friends out when we were done, so he wouldn’t get in trouble on the clock.” He has to stop, ice freezing over in his chest.

“What happened next, Nicky?” Dr Moran asks softly, his expression calm, but his brow slightly pinched.

Nicky’s lip trembles and plays with the lanyard on his belt, the apartment keys jingling. He feels tears begin to streak down his face and wipes at them furiously. Dr Moran pushes a tissue box across the coffee table between them and Nicky grabs a couple to wipe his face, balling them in his fist as he tries to calm down.

“Well, Angie and Hannah gave us some space, before we would walk back to Hannah’s, so Jason and I could talk. He asked for my phone and I gave it to him, he added his number and told me to get in touch. I was excited and everything… blushing like mad when he got really close. I don’t know if he was going to hug me or kiss my cheek or what, but I guess my dad was driving by and had pulled into the parking lot when he saw me? I’m not sure?  But he scared the shit out of me when he blared the horn and— and he got out of the car, yelling my name and told Jason to get away from me. He kept yelling that I was supposed to be home and that I’m in a lot of trouble. It was a bullshit excuse and I— it scared me.

“Dad shoved me into the car, and I just wanted to disappear while Jason and my friends watched. He took away my phone and kept calling me a disgusting abomination the entire drive home. Said something like he knew I was a uh— a faggot, he just kept _yelling_.” Nicky looks up at Dr Moran with tears still streaking down his cheeks, thankful to see the look of understanding on his face, only to wonder how he possibly could.

“Is that when he told you he was sending you to the camp, Nicky?” Dr Moran asks carefully, his hands folded over the notepad.

Nicky shakes his head. “No, he sent me to my room when we got home, told me I best pray for forgiveness while he figures something out.”

“Did you?” Nicky stares at him. “Did you pray, Nicky?”

Nicky flushes. “Yeah, I’ve always been religious.”

“Despite your contradicting beliefs to the church’s and your parents?”

“I guess I hoped _believed_ God would forgive me? That if He is as unconditionally loving and understanding as I was raised to believe, I would be forgiven, saved.” Nicky’s frown deepens, swallowing hard. “I had hoped my parents would be the same, but…” he finishes quietly, trailing off as his chest tightens.

“But?”

“But I was wrong. They saw me as a problem, like I’m some sort of...mistake to fix, because I like boys.”

“I want you to understand that there is nothing wrong with being attracted to the same sex, Nicky, there isn’t anything wrong with wanting to love another person. Homosexuality has been in recorded history for millennia and it has been widely accepted.”

Nicky nods, wanting to believe that, especially after seeing Gavin and Richard, Andrew and Neil. There can’t be anything wrong with loving someone, there just can’t. But he still hears his father scolding tone in his ear, making him flinch reflexively.

“Then why are there conversion therapy camps in the first place?”

“Why were there concentration camps during the Holocaust?” Dr Moran asks and Nicky can’t find it in himself to respond. “Because people were afraid of others having differences and manage to be charismatic enough to convince others to see it the way they did.” That made sense, Nicky realizes. “Did you know that some of the people who attend those conversion camps, admit themselves willingly?”

Nicky’s jaw drops, chills shooting down his spine. He can’t imagine subjecting himself to that; he had read up on these camps and apparently, electroshock therapy was one of the methods used. “B-but _why_?”

“Because those people who were afraid of people who are different, managed to convince them that they are in the wrong,” Dr Moran purses his lips and Nicky looks at his lap again. “There is nothing wrong with being different. If we all thought the same, looked the same, _loved_ the same exact way, the world would be boring and not the beautifully unique place it is.”

“That’s poetic,” Nicky lets out a wet laugh and Dr Moran smiles.

“Thank you,” Dr Moran sighs gently. “Now, you were praying in your room, because you believed that God would forgive you, yes?” Nicky nod. “You were confused? Scared?” Nicky nods again. “What happened next?”

“After a while, like a few hours, my parents finally came up to talk to me. My dad seemed pleased that I was praying and then well… they told me they were going to get me the help I needed… That they arranged for me to go to a camp in two days. That it would help, it would _fix_ me.” Nicky’s face scrunches up, lip trembling in fear. “I knew a little about these camps before, but the idea that my parents were so ashamed of me, that they were sending me away? I was fucking terrified!” More tears poured down Nicky’s face. “I-I still am…

“They said that they loved me, but dad wouldn’t touch me, wouldn’t let mom touch me because he said I was tainted,” Nicky cries harder, his shoulders jumping. “That when I was cleansed, all would be forgiven, but they didn’t really love me just then. They saw something they had to fix! I only agreed because I didn’t want them to hate me more than they already do.”

“What made you call your cousin?” Dr Moran cuts in while he whimpers and Nicky longs for someone to hold him right now, he wishes Gavin or Aaron were here because they don’t resist at all like Neil and Andrew do.

“I remembered how my parents reacted to finding out about Andrew and thought… I thought that if anyone would know what I should do, it would be him,” Nicky sniffles. “I had kept his number from when we were still allowed to talk, but never called before, because… I didn’t want to upset my parents.” Nicky shrugs and Dr Moran makes a note. “So I dug it back out from where I hid it and called when I was sure my parents were asleep.”

“Did you know that your cousins would react the way they did?”

Immediately, Nicky shakes his head, glad his tears have slowed down again. “I thought…” he pauses in realization. “I have no idea what I thought, but I hoped he would have some advice?” Dr Moran gestures for him to go on and Nicky wipes his nose. “I called and Andrew answered, he thought I was my dad and sounded really mad, but when he heard my voice, he sounded concerned?” It makes him smile slightly, thinking about that call.

“I asked him if I was an abomination,” Nicky winces. “Because well… I thought he’d know, that he’d have the answers. I guess he knew something was wrong, asked what my dad had done and when I told him about the camp, he freaked out and told me he’d be at my house in like twelve hours. Told me to pack and to not tell my dad about the phone call.” 

“What did you think of that? How did it make you feel?”

Nicky manages a laugh at the cliche question. “I was happy he was so concerned, but I didn’t know if I believed him? I thought I was imagining things, actually.” Nicky blinks rapidly. “I packed the next day anyway and dad saw me and thought I was packing for camp, which worked in my favor I guess, but I really didn’t think he was coming until I heard him and dad fighting in the doorway. Both Andrew and Aaron came to get me,” he says in wonder. “Because I was scared.”

Dr Moran smiles genuinely. “That must have been a big shock, seeing your older cousins after however long, just to protect you.” Nicky nods slowly, thinking about how big of a deal that is to him. “That is not an easy thing to do, dropping everything and getting on a plane.” Dr Moran’s words make Nicky blush.

“Yeah… it was a lot, knowing they cared about me enough to do that,” Nicky smiles and tugs on the lanyard again, it’s smooth surface soothing to touch. “I kept telling them they didn’t have to do this, once they got my luggage and got me in the car. I have no idea how they managed to get dad to let me go so easily.”

“How _did_ your parents respond to your cousins showing up at your door? You said they were fighting with your father?”

Nicky nods again. “Yeah, Andrew has always been kind of intimidating, I guess?  But he didn’t— doesn't scare me? He told my dad how it would be and my mom was freaking out, but dad told her off or something.” Nicky struggles to remember the rest. “I was in a daze pretty much until I got to the apartment, everything happened so fast.”

“That’s okay, if you don’t remember-”

“My mom hugged me,” Nicky cuts him off when he remembers. “She hugged me and begged me not to go…”

“But she didn’t even touch you the night before, after that conversation,” Dr Moran starts, Nicky frowns. “Do you think your father had anything to do with that?”

Nicky shrugs, not wanting to think about it.

“Alright, well we’ve covered a lot already Nicky, I’m glad you opened up today.”

Nicky’s eyes widen and looks to the clock on the wall, seeing that forty-five minutes have already passed. Wow.

“I want you to keep a journal, Nicky,” Dr Moran starts, writing on his notepad again. “I want you to write down what you are feeling about your situation until our next appointment. Talk to your cousins, when you feel ready. They clearly care for you and want to help you, let them.”

Nicky nods, hoping he can follow through, but bites his lip.

“What is it?”

Nicky freezes and tugs on his lanyard. “Well, it's just that they’ve already done so much for me.” He looks down at his clothes, the new shoes on his feet and the phone in his pocket. “Andrew’s boyfriend Neil, he uh, well he spent all this money on me, getting me clothes and a phone. He’s nice and the twins’ parents treat me like I’m part of the family. I don’t want them to get overwhelmed with my shit. They didn’t sign up for all this,” he gestures to himself.

Dr Moran frowns for a moment, tapping his pen on the notepad. “Nicky, I am inclined to believe that they _did_ sign up for ‘this’, your cousins flew across the country because you reached out when you didn’t feel safe. I know your cousins were in foster care for a while, they know what it means to struggle. They are a valuable resource and they are your family. Let them help you, just show them you appreciate it. Do you think you can do that?”

Nicky bites his lip again, wrapping his lanyard around his palm and finally nods. “I’ll try… I just, I feel like they are doing too much. I want to help, but I don’t know how.”

“Ask. I feel like you are a very outgoing young man,” Dr Moran tells him genuinely. “Just ask what you can do, maybe some chores? Whatever they need and you feel comfortable with.”

Nicky nods again. “Okay, I’ll ask them.”

“Is there anything you’d like to ask me? Anything pressing?”

“Uh…” Nicky flushes, mind coming up blank, but- “Should I...I miss them, even though…”

Dr Moran presses his lips into a thin line. “I understand, they’re your parents, but I would suggest that in regards to this situation where your safety is at risk to not reach out. Talk to your cousins first and find out what the situation is, what they have planned.”

Nicky’s heart drops into his stomach and sighs, nodding. “Okay…”

“Nicky,” Dr Moran calls softly, making him look up. “Things are going to get better, you're safe now and we’ll sort this all out, please be patient and things will begin to fall into place.” Nicky can only nod, hoping he’s right. “Alright, let’s get you scheduled for another appointment next week and I’ll give you all my contact information in case you need to reach out.”

“Okay, thank you Dr Moran,” Nicky stands when he does, trying to catch a glimpse of his notes, but his form is placed on top. He isn’t sure if he really wants to know what is written there.

“You’re welcome, Nicky.”

Nicky follows him out of the office, wiping his eyes with a fresh tissue in case he’s missed any of his tears while Dr Moran walks up to the secretary’s desk behind a sliding glass window. Outside, Andrew looks up from his book and tilts his head in question, Nicky gives him a weak smile. Andrew snaps his book shut and stands, surprising Nicky by walking up to him and grabbing his wrist again to press his thumb in that spot. Nicky’s pulse slows down and he hadn’t even realized how wound up he was until the tension drained from him with the contact.

“Okay?” Andrew asks and Nicky nods, exhaling slowly. “Good.”

 

~

 

“How’d it go?” Aaron asks carefully while he scoots away from Neil, thanking Nicky for the iced coffee he handed over. “Did you like Dr Moran?”

Nicky shrugs, trying to not watch Andrew give Neil a gentle kiss and his coffee before he situates himself in the corner of the couch. Neil leans his back against Andrew’s chest and tucks his feet under Aaron’s thigh while they all sip their iced coffees.

“He was… understanding,” Nicky finally offers and smiles when Aaron scoots over again, allowing Nicky to sit beside him at the other end, Neil plopping his feet in Aaron’s lap. “Thanks.”

“What are we watching?” Aaron asks, thankfully, because Nicky is too drained to talk about his visit and watches him aimlessly scroll through the tv guide. Nicky snorts when Andrew covers Neil’s mouth, telling him no more exy for the evening.

“Let’s watch a movie!” Nicky suggests and flushes when Aaron hands him the remote, leaning back while Nicky searches for a movie, a hand curled around Neil’s ankle. Even though Nicky can’t completely understand the comfortable need for contact they share, between two people in relationships and _not with each other_. Nicky pushes it from his mind, not wanting to confuse himself and eventually they settle on _The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift_ that had started ten minutes ago and turns up the volume to veg out for a while. Aaron lets him lean against him and Nicky is able to forget about everything, just enjoying their company and the contact.

 

~

 

After the movie, the four of them are ravenous and it is Andrew's turn to cook but Nicky manages to work up the courage to offer. Aaron tells him not to worry about it, but Neil shushes Aaron and murmurs something in German to the twins. Even though they've been generously helping him learn the language, Nicky doesn't catch it.

“I told you, there is already one martyr too many in this family and that's Neil,” Andrew ignores Neil's annoyed grunt.

Nicky has to pout though, trying to find his words. Remind himself these are not his parents trying to control every aspect of his life. “I feel useless,” he finally manages, watching Aaron frown and Neil's expression smooth over. “I want to help, you've done so much for me and I want to show you how grateful I am.”

Aaron sighs but then gives him a half smile, Andrew just shrugs and stretches his arms.

“Fine, make dinner,” Andrew waves him off and Nicky can’t help but smile, rushing off into the kitchen. He hears them switch the channel on the tv and argue over what to watch.

Nicky is just glad to call them his family and starts searching through the refrigerator and the cupboards, hoping to make one of his mother’s easier recipes. Unfortunately, he can’t call her and ask her for help, but the rice is easy enough to prepare and cooking meat isn’t that hard, especially with a fully stocked spice rack. Hopefully, they’ll like it.

 

~

 

“Come on, it’s not that spicy,” Aaron taunts, shoving another forkful of Nicky’s dinner into his mouth while Neil blows his nose for the third time before taking another bite.

Andrew had given up on eating his meal and is holding a spoonful of ice cream onto his tongue, his eyes still watering.

“I should have warned you that it was spicy,” Nicky laughs nervously, looking away as he eats another forkful.

“It's been a while since I've had _real_ Mexican,” Neil clears his throat. “Not that fake crap Aaron gets.”

“Not all of us have lived in Mexico, Neil,” Aaron sticks his tongue out at him.

Nicky perks up at that. “You've lived in Mexico?”

Neil nods, stirring his rice around on his plate for a moment, pursing his lips. “I've lived in Mexico, Montreal, England, France, Germany - all over. Never stayed in one place for long.” Neil offers a nervous smile and Andrew switches hands to continue to hold his ice cream on his tongue and clamp the other on Neil's neck, making Neil relax.

Nicky is starting to wonder about Andrew's various comments about Neil's past, wondering if any part of them are true. Neil being a runaway or Andrew's latest story of Neil being a Russian spy, in hiding. Again, Nicky has a feeling he should keep his mouth shut and change the subject like he's had to on the daily with his- anyway.

“That's cool, I was studying German at my old school because I hoped to one day go to Germany.” Nicky wonders if maybe he doesn’t need to say goodbye to that dream. “Do you think there is a study abroad program or something at my new school?”

“It should have a program like that, since it's associated with a big university like PSU,” Aaron offers and Nicky beams.

“That would be amazing. I've always wanted to see the world,” Nicky sighs, leaning his head on his fist, smiling at his dinner. He laughs. “Starting with Germany.”

“Why Germany?” Andrew asks around a new spoonful of ice cream, so it came out more like; “Wuh ‘ermy?” making everyone snicker and Andrew roll his eyes.

“It's a really cool language and Columbia was fighting for a study abroad program, but they needed enough students to do it. I think like they need fifteen students minimum?” Nicky shrugs. “It was Germany or Spain and I’m Mexican, not a Spaniard,” he laughs.

“Yea, when I was in Mexico, I recall them making a fuss over being compared to Spaniards,” Neil wipes his nose. “Can't remember why though.”

“I'm sure Day could tell you,” Andrew snorts, digging out another scoop of ice cream.

“It's because Mexico declared independence from Spain,” Nicky states as matter of fact.

“That's it,” Neil clears his throat and sips his water. “Make sure you study the culture as well as the language, don't want to piss anyone off when you're there.”

Nicky bites his lip. “You sound so sure I'll get to go…”

Neil lifts his eyebrow at that, chewing slowly. “I've been to twenty different places in several countries between the ages of ten and sixteen. So why wouldn't you be able to go at some point?”

Nicky shrugs, cheeks burning. “I couldn't— can't talk to mom and dad about this kind of stuff.”

“Not surprising,” Andrew comments after a moment.

Neil chews on his lip, pushing his food around on his plate. Nicky watches both the twins do _something_ that makes Neil just react, that Nicky either doesn't catch or doesn't understand. The tension in Neil's shoulders slips away and he nods, looking up at Nicky and for some reason, Nicky expects some profound statement.

“Dinner was really good, Nicky, thank you.”

That wasn't what Nicky was expecting, but then again, he didn't know what to expect from his little extended family, least of all Neil. He hopes he can learn to read each of them the way they can read each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, we have the story about poor Nicky.
> 
> Nicky getting help is sooo important!
> 
> I will die claiming Nicky to be religious, despite his parent's fuck ups.
> 
> Thank you Foxsoulcourt for helping me create Dr Moran!
> 
> Please leave kudos and a comment to let me know what you thought!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The epic conclusion!
> 
> Thank you fuzzballsheltiepants for betaing!
> 
> Uh... mild trigger warning for sensitive topics.

The days keep coming, waking up in the same apartment as his cousins and not his parent's house. Nicky can’t figure out how he feels overall and has managed to struggle through talking to Dr Moran about it. The biggest worry is about his parents, he wonders how they are doing. Do they miss him? Have they tried to contact him or the twins? He thinks about this whenever they visit with the twins’ parents. He clams up when conversations become serious or hot button topics come up, he was never able to speak freely and voice his opinions. Neil and the twins easily voice their own and listen when Nicky speaks, so he _knows_ he's “allowed” to do the same, but after his parents, especially his father had shut him down when he didn't agree with him, it's habitual. Andrew says he will unlearn that in time. He hopes so.

Watching Andrew and Neil, and Richard and Gavin, being themselves and being so loving in their own ways makes Nicky want to believe there really isn't anything wrong with him. He _knows_ it’s true, but Dr Moran says believing it is the hard part. “It’ll come in time,” they keep telling him. “It’s only been a few weeks.” But Nicky wishes it was _now_.

Nicky feels Aaron and Neil stare at him occasionally during their morning run, but they don’t bother him because he stuck his earbuds in so he can think. Running every morning with them has increased his stamina significantly and he feels good about it, but today he is unable to let the adrenaline block out his thoughts about his parents. So by the time he and Neil make it back to the apartment, Aaron stopping off at his parent’s to shower before coming over, he’s made up his mind. A hot shower relaxes him and he starts breakfast while Neil washes off and gives Andrew his coffee when he stumbles out of his and Neil’s room.

“Spit it out,” Andrew sighs when the four of them have sat down to their breakfast of chocolate chip pancakes and bacon. Nicky smiles nervously when he realizes he made their favorite breakfast on autopilot.

“Uh…” Nicky watches Andrew drown his pancakes in syrup, Aaron buttering his lightly and then at Neil cutting into his plain. They look at him calmly, patiently waiting for him to speak as they have from the start. It’s enough to loosen the hold his anxiety has on his words. “I um, I wanted to try calling my parents… if that’s okay?” Nicky flushes and looks away when Andrew stares at him.

Neil shoves an entire pancake in his mouth, eyes darting between the twins. Nicky looks to Aaron who is chewing thoughtfully on a piece of bacon.

“Rin?” Andrew looks to his brother and Nicky watches as they have a silent conversation, noticing how not even Neil can tell what they are discussing. Eventually, Aaron lifts his eyebrow when Andrew’s lip curls and they break away. “Fine,” he sighs.

Nicky feels his heart skip a beat, butterflies fluttering in his stomach. He longs for his mom’s soothing voice and hopes that’s what he’ll be offered, maybe even his dad’s even tone.

“Nicky,” Aaron starts slowly and he looks to him. “Last week they signed the release to allow us to be your guardians,” Nicky frowns at this new bit of information and looks down, wondering why they didn't immediately tell him about that. He's happy that they willingly took him in, but knowing his parents just gave him up without a fight really stings. When Aaron grips his shoulder, he's pulled out of his head and looks at Aaron as he continues. “We forced their hand in this and…” Aaron trails off. “But if you want to try, we understand.”

“How…” Nicky falters, his voice cracking. “ _How_ do you understand?”

“Because…” Neil surprises them all by speaking up, Andrew clamping his hand around the back of his neck, Aaron nodding in encouragement. “Because they’ve seen what it’s like to want to be close to your family, loving them despite everything they’ve done. M-my mum…” Nicky winces because Neil does. “She used to uh… _punish_ me for anything she didn’t approve of, but she protected me with her life and I felt like that was what family was, what love was.” Neil glances at Aaron and Andrew. “It wasn’t healthy… not by a long shot, but maybe you can try to have a heal- _a_ relationship with your parents? We won’t stop you, Nicky.”

Nicky swallows, wondering about Neil’s family again, thinking about the couple scars he saw peeking out from his shirt when he stretched for morning runs. The way Andrew would quickly tug Neil’s shirt back down when he walked in on them making out a couple times. How Neil gets uncomfortable around Hank, the twin’s retired social worker when he’s helping them with Nicky’s case. How he maintains a wide berth around strangers and is constantly aware of his surroundings, but he seems to trust the twins and their parents immensely. Nicky wonders if that trust will be extended to him in time. Neil already lets him within arms reach, so maybe…

“Thanks, Neil.” Nicky smiles back at him when he does, Neil leaning into Andrew’s side hug and they continue eating. Aaron squeezes his shoulder again.

“Call them when you’re ready.”

Nicky can only nod.

 

~

 

“We’ll be in the living room if you need us,” Aaron offers before walking out of the kitchen.

“Okay,” Nicky leans against the kitchen island and stares at his phone, keying in star-six-seven and then his parent’s ten digit number and presses call. The phone rings a few times, as he expected since Andrew told him how to prevent his number from coming up on the caller id, but the call does connect and his mom’s voice comes through.

“ _Hello_?”

Nicky clamps his hand over his mouth, tears prickling at the corner of his eyes.

“ _Is someone there_?”

“H-hey mama,” Nicky sniffs and his mom inhales sharply.

“ _Nicholas? Is that you_?”

Hope sparks in his chest and he actually smiles, digging his fingers into his chest. “Yea, mama, it’s me, I-I just wanted to check in, let you know I'm okay.” Nicky frowns when his mom pulls the phone away, guessing she's talking to his dad and that warm spark turns into a cold ache when he hears the speakerphone click on. “I uh, I’ve been going to therapy every week, my doctor is helping me sort things out.”

“ _So you_ **_are_ ** _getting help to fix those impulses_ ,” his father speaks up.

Nicky’s heart sinks as he falls into his chair at the island. “I uh, no, we’ve been working on my anxiety and depression. It helps a lot.”

“ _You are depressed because you have been having those disgusting thoughts, Nicholas_ ,” his father growls. He hears his mom say his name softly, then his father snapping at her.

Nicky squeezes his eyes shut and swallows thickly. “No dad, I’ve been having problems because I couldn’t talk to anyone…” _including you_.

“ _Nicholas, we’ll get you someone to talk to here, we won’t send-_ ”

“ _Maria!_ ” Luther cuts her off and Nicky just feels the distance between them grow. “ _He’s been living with those…_ **_faggots_** _, their parents are the filthy creatures who turned them into sinners like them. Just ‘talking’ isn’t going to help him when he’s been around them this entire time_.”

Nicky frowns as his mom responds, something inside him bursting free. “Andrew and his parents and Neil aren’t _filthy creatures_. They are people!” Nicky swallows hard when his little outburst causes his parents to stop arguing.

“ _See! He’s brainwashed_!”

“I am not brainwashed!” Tears slid down his cheeks, but he somehow doesn’t cry out yet. “I am your son who happens to be gay! God made me this way-”

“ _Don’t you dare use His name to excuse your sins_!”

“ _Nicholas…_ ” his mom sounds lost and Nicky hopes… “ _You need help. We love you, but you need to get help._ ”

That hits him harder than it had the first time, because this time, those words have no meaning to Nicky. It's an empty and manipulative promise that both hurts and gives Nicky strength to stand up for himself, if only a little. “So there are conditions for you to treat me like your son and not a problem to fix,” Nicky whispers hollowly.

Neither of his parents manage a retort and Nicky squeezes his eyes shut again, realizing he has to let them go. “I understand, you’re the ones who are brainwashed.”

“ _How dare you speak to us this way!_ ”

“I’m sorry I can’t be what you want me to be, but I’m not broken just because I like boys,” Nicky pulls the phone away as his father yells and wipes away more tears, sniffling before he returns the phone to his ear. “I won’t bother you again. I’ve gotta go, goodbye.”

“ _Nicholas-_ ”

Nicky hangs up and sits at the island with tears streaming down his face for a long moment. After a few minutes, he wipes his face and walks out of the kitchen to where his cousins and Neil are curled up on the couch as usual. Aaron and Neil give him tight, understanding smiles and Andrew nods. Aaron slides into the corner of the couch while Neil and Andrew separate so Nicky can collapse between Aaron and Neil. He is unspeakably grateful for them leaning into him on either side and lets his tears fall freely.

“Thank you, I— _thank you_ ,” Nicky sniffles. He curls toward Neil, Aaron wrapping his arms around him and Neil, his chest pressed against his back. Nicky looks up from where his face is buried in Neil’s curls to find Andrew grabbing his wrist, squeezing his pressure point again. It makes him smile and his sobs turns into wet laughter. “I love you guys.”

Nicky doesn’t expect them to say it back, but Neil murmurs a ‘me too’, while Aaron and Andrew both reply ‘love you too’. The twins especially aren’t ones for expressing such feelings, but he knows they say it to each other and their parents. To hear it being said to him though, it’s the best feeling in the world because they mean it. It doesn’t erase the pain of knowing his parent’s love is conditional, but it heals his aching heart, in the best way possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And then Nicky went to school in Palmetto, while the twins and Neil attend PSU, eventually, he studies abroad in Germany, meeting Erik, the love of his life, remaining in close contact with his little, found family. He lives a long, happy and healthy life. The End.
> 
> \-------
> 
> Woo! Happy ending for our happy little family!
> 
> I'm glad ya'll stuck with it, this was a joy to write!
> 
> Thank you nekojita for the prompt and all of you for reading.
> 
> Please leave kudos and a comment to let me know what you thought!
> 
> I am happy to answer any questions and you can hit me up on tumblr via NikoTheSpoonKlepto.
> 
> Peace! <3


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